Empty
by Running in the Darkness
Summary: He did not believe me Edward did not listen to me. And now no one wants me, no one ever will. On Hiatus
1. Chapter 1

**A/N wrote this when I was really bored, so sorry if it's bad. **

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><p>It's true that no one will ever want me, because it was what <em><strong>he<strong>_told me. He said, "_That I should be unloved and cause nothing but pain."_ But he never listened to my side of the story. He only saw what it seemed like, but did not try and comprehend. And it hurts more and more everyday just to see his face, around school along with his family, my former family, knowing that they hate me. Just thinking their names hurts causing me to flinch. What did I do you may ask, nothing absolutely nothing…  
><em>~~flashback~~<br>We went to Mike Newton's party, just like any other Friday night. Edward said he will be back in a few minutes. After about ten minutes I could not see Edward anywhere so I went look for him. I decided to ask Alice,  
>"Hey Alice have you seen Edward anywhere"<em>

"_No, why isn't he with you?" she replied her words slurring together._

"_He said he would be back but I can't find him"_

"_Don't worry, he's probably around here somewhere" And left dragging Jazz with her. _

"_Edward! Where did you go?" I yelled into a hall and went in it thinking Edward would have been in one of the rooms. "Ed..." I was cut off by someone covering my mouth, by an unfamiliar hand. Their arm snaked around my waist and dragged me backwards. I tried screaming, but no one could hear me because of the music roaring downstairs. I saw who took me here it was Jacob, and I knew that his intentions were not good. I always thought Jacob was my friend. _

"_Jake, why are you doing this?" He ripped my shirt off and kept proceeding before replying. I started praying that Edward would come and save me before it was too late._

"_Because I can never have you any other way but this." The tears kept streaming down my face and suddenly he rammed in to me and my innocence was gone. "Well who would have thought Miss. Isabella was still a virgin." What I was saving for Edward just gone. With every thrust that followed I only felt like I was betraying Edward. All of the sudden the door flew open and I saw Edward, fury laced within his eyes. He did not register the tears in my eyes, or anything else and stated that I was useless and would be a whore. _

_His exact words were "You are just a stupid bitch, who wanted nothing but a fuck, and I guess I was a waste of your time then. And now look you thought I would not find out but I did, and you're only crying to make me feel sympathy for you. But that will never work, because from this day forward the only feeling you will bring to me is hatred. Why did you play with me, I thought you were a bad liar, but instead you are a brilliant actress. Was I just a game to you, while you had fun on the sidelines? With a mutt" And he stormed out, leaving me behind with a smirking Jake. _

_~~end of flashback~~_

Now every time I see one of the Cullens they just send a nasty glare at me that makes me want to die. I might as well be dead seeing how I never sleep and barley eat nowadays, after knowing how worthless I really am. After months crying does nothing, and now I am just a body with no soul left, just lifeless. Charlie is too busy to notice how I am. My only family now hates me more than the most evil thing in the world. The thoughts of ending my life have entered my mind countless times. It's not like any one would miss me right. The whole town hates me after Edward told everyone what happened. I made up my mind I would write one letter to Edward and give it to him before I commit suicide. Because as it is; I am worthless right?

I finished writing the letter in study hall, and my next class being biology I will slip the note in to his bag. Waiting for biology has never taken so long. On my way to class l received many glares, and occasional comment of how I was a slut. Today none of the comment bothered me, thinking of today being the last day to live made me happy, something different from my usual deadness. Today would be the last time I actually look at Edward. I took his appearance in, he look just as bad as I did, but he had Tanya hanging off his arm. Should I be angry that he has someone else now? Maybe; but he hurt me I don't know what to feel. I put the letter in his biology book at the end of class when he was not looking; knowing he never uses it unless it is needed in class. I left school that day smiling seeing how it would be my last day for ever. I never did see myself graduating; I guess something in life never happen.

The drive home was a peaceful one, as the day set my mood perfectly filled with thunderstorms. Once home I put my bag in my room and wrote a quick note to Charlie that I would forever love him, but I would not be returning, but I put the note in his room in case he came home early and found out. I took the sharpest knife find in the drawer and went out of the back door to the edge of the forest. I remembered how I forgot to mention to Edward how I planning on committing suicide, oh well he will find out once it's too late. I started to slice my wrists, instead of feeling pain all I felt was nothing but I could see the red blood trickle down my white skin. I cut another slit in my elbow near a vain so it would happen faster. My last few thoughts were about Edward and how I loved him, but my question is should I still love him, even after he did not let me explain. But my heart will always love him no matter what. I prayed that Charlie and the Cullens would have a happy life without me. Because all I do is cause pain.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Epov**

It's been months since I found out that Isabella cheated on me. I never could believe she was such a good actress. Every touch, every kiss every word out of her mouth was a sham, just like her. Its better I found out her true colors sooner than later. I still cannot believe that she would do that to me, she was such a selfless person always caring about everyone but herself, but I guess people change. I told my siblings what she did, and they were shocked, Alice couldn't believe Bella would do such a thing, and tried to reason with me. She is the only one who still is on Bella's side, even if she doesn't act like it. Alice hasn't talked to me lately saying I made a mistake saying how she will never forgive me until Bella does. How did I make a mistake, I did nothing wrong, it was Bella. But I cannot bring myself to hate her. She will always hold the keys to my heart, even if I told her otherwise. I should have been more careful I knew that mutt and Bella were good friends, more like more than friends.

"Edward, you have to go to school." called Esme, my loving mother, who could not hate anyone not even Bella.

"I'm going, mom." I grabbed my keys and waited for my other siblings to show up. Emmet and Rose had already left so it just left Jazz, Alice and me now. The drive to school was odd today, it seemed longer than usual, lonelier, but I just brushed it off. When we arrived at school I saw Tanya, my girlfriend she greeted me and we walked off to class. It felt wrong to be with Tanya like I was cheating on Bella, but Tanya is good for me. Classes seemed boring today; I just couldn't wait to get home. I constantly was watching the clock waiting for one class to be over and proceed to the next. Today just felt different, like something bad was going to happen, something important but terrible. I couldn't get rid of that feeling, which made me think of the time Bella was sent off to the hospital after that car accident, in which she badly injured.

_~~flashback~~_

_Bella and I were off in Port Angeles, having a fantastic day. We were walking around, going into random shops and such. We decided to head back to the car; I told Bella I would be there in a minute, as I had to pick up a bracelet for her in a store nearby. I got the bracelet and headed back to the car, but only to see a crowd on the road. I look closer and saw an unconscious Bella, and I rushed over to her. I asked people what happened, and they said a car ran a light and hit her. It seemed like eternity for the ambulance to arrive; they loaded Bella in and drove to the hospital. I followed behind in my car. If anything happened to her I couldn't forgive myself, I should not have let her off on her own, cause she is a danger magnet. My phone started ringing it didn't occur to me how much time had passed or the fact I had yet to inform the rest of my family. _

"_Hello?" I breathed in to phone._

"_Edward, where did you wander off with my daughter?" Charlie's jolly tone came through the other end. I did not know how to tell him._

"_Sir, we are in the Port Angeles hospital." I told him worriedly._

"_What happened, something wrong with Bella?" worry laced his voice._

"_She was hit by a car I am sorry I did not inform you earlier, but I was too worried with what was happening with Bell…" Charlie cut me off,_

"_I am coming to the hospital right now; I'll call your family as well." he hung up the phone _

_I was waiting for the news about Bella to come out. Charlie finally arrived at the hospital. He asked if any news had come through yet, I just shook my head. The doctor finally appeared and told us that she would be alright. Her only major injury was that she broke her left arm and leg and got a few cracked ribs and had minor internal bleeding. We went in to see her, and she did not look okay. She looked so fragile and weak. Her skin was pale white and had gashes on her arm. But the said she would be okay, so everything will be alright soon. _

_~~end of flashback~~_

It was finally time for biology my last class of the day. The whole class time I could feel Bella's stare on me. I wish that I could find out what was going on in her head, why would she be looking at me after all that's happened. She made it clear that she does not want me, so why am I thinking about her. Something was defiantly wrong, I took in Bella's appearance today and she looked exactly the same except the look of pain on her face was replaced with peacefulness and a small smile. Since that day, Bella's appearance looks worse every day. She looks so skinny and fragile now, like a broken porcelain doll. I tried to banish all thoughts of Bella from my head; I have to let her go she doesn't matter what. I saw Bella's hand from the corner of my eye I wasn't sure what she did. _Five more minutes of class left,_ I thought to myself. The thought of home welcomed my mind, without a doubt. I packed up my books and left the room, glad to be out of that tense atmosphere. I did not bother stopping at my locker again because I did not have homework in any of my classes; I just decide to wait in the car for Alice and Jazz then drive home.

A thunder storm in forks is odd, in the town of Forks, as it never storms just rains. By the time we reached home I could feel something was definitely wrong. I glanced over to Alice; she too looked as if she had a strange feeling. I did not feel like spending with my family, so I headed to my room with my bag slung over my shoulder. Once I got to my room, I decided to review for my biology test, which was tomorrow. When I opened it a letter fell out, it was addressed to me in Bella's handwriting. Why would she write to me of all people? If she had something to tell me than, she could of said it to my face. I threw it the trashcan, and tried to study. But it kept on bugging me, what lies in the letter. I went to read it only to find out that, I never listened to her:

_Dear Edward,_

_ You must be thinking why am I writing to you of all people, but I decided to let you know what happened that night. I always loved you, I hope you know that._

_The night of the party, I couldn't find you, and decided to look for you. I was walking in one of the empty halls hoping to find you, but only to be grabbed by a hand. Only to find out the hand belonged to Jacob, he dragged me in to that room. I did not want to be there or with him. I just wanted you. I wanted you to come save me, but you never did. When I had tears running down my face you came into the room, only to misjudge me. I wanted you to be my first, not Jacob, but he took it from me. I wanted you to believe me, or even hear my side but you did not. When you walked away from me that day, I can't describe the amount of pain felt, from you leaving me. You were my everything, but you just vanished leaving me to deal with the monsters by myself. Seeing you around school just kills me, making me feel guilty for something that I couldn't prevent. And seeing your family glare at me constantly and others make comment just make it worse. But I deserve it, because I am worthless, just a waste of space as others would put it. _

_I wish I had the courage to talk to you, but I am a coward. I hope you will be happy, because I am no good. Tanya would be good for you, you both look good together, both of you complement each other. I am sorry that I couldn't apologize to you and your family for the pain I caused. If you could send my apologies to them I would be great full to you. I really wish I could tell you this in person but, you wouldn't give the time of day, and I am nothing more than a coward. Again I am sorry that I was a waste of your time only to cause you pain, and that I wasted more of your time if you read this letter. But it was the only way for me to let you go, by letting you know somehow. _

_Sincerely, _

_Isabella Swan._

I reread the letter at least three times, before realizing the tear marks on the parchment were my own. I felt so guilty that I wouldn't listen to her, she tried to talk to me so many times, but I always ignored her trying to shelter myself from the hurt I faced. I told everyone that she slept with some one behind my back, even her father Charlie did not act as proud as he used to. I remember the look on her face from yesterday, she looked so hurt and her eyes were filled with pain that is would radiate off her, and today she looked absolutely peaceful like she was in bliss. Not one emotion of pain passed through her eyes today. The words that stood out most from her letter were sincerely and loved, like she held no emotion for me anymore. I knew that I had to make it up to her, no matter what, or how long. I would do it for her even if she did not forgive me. I will beg on my knees for her to forgive me, anything she wants.

I dashed down the stairs muttering to mom that I would be back soon; it wasn't that late just around five o' clock. I raced to Bella's house, and pounded on the door. I was expecting Bella to answer, but Charlie did instead. "Charlie is Bella here?" I asked him franticly.

His face changed from one of surprise to disappointment at the mention of Bella. "No, she isn't home, I don't know where she went, I haven't seen a note from her, I was just going upstairs to see if she left a note there." He left me in the living room. Not even after five minutes he came dashing down the stairs with wide eyes, saying we have to find her. He showed me the note that Bella wrote to him.

_Dear Dad, _

_I will always love even if you don't love me anymore. I hope you will be happy after I am gone, because all I do is cause pain. I know no one will miss me, not even you, because you think I am a disappointment and I am sorry. I will be gone before you find this note, but if you want to find me I will be in the woods not far from the house near the path. But if you don't want to find me that's okay too. Goodbye daddy please don't forget me._

_ I will love you forever,_

_ Bella_

At this point I couldn't comprehend what was going on, both Charlie and I darted out the back door, towards the woods. Bella wouldn't would she? There was a little light left in the sky, but there was so much of rain, and thunder. But nothing would stop me, I had to find her. Once we reached the path, I was looking for her hoping to find her. I finally found her lying next to a tree stump, with a knife was beside her. The odd thing was her face; she had a small smile which made her look so delicate and angelic. Her skin was so pale, that she truly did look like Snow White, the fairest of them all. Then I noticed the cuts along her arms and the amount of blood which seeped on her clothes. She looked as if she was already dead. I check if she had a pulse, and it was very faint. Immediately I scooped her up and ran back to Charlie. Once he was who was in my arms both of started to rush to my car. I gave Charlie the keys, and sat with Bells in back trying to keep her warm. Charlie rushed to the hospital; I immediately got out and went in, asking for my father to help her. While waiting for any news about Bella, I thought about the note she wrote to Charlie, how could she think that he doesn't love her. Of course Charlie loves Bella, but after all that's happened to her she probably thinks the whole world hates her. It bugged me why did she not tell me anything about her plans about killing herself, but she told Charlie. But then again, why would she tell me, all I did was cause her more pain than she deserved, she had to tell Charlie because he is her father. A small figure approached me, and held my hand, right away I knew it was Alice, Charlie must have called Esme. Alice had tears running down her face, and started mumbling how she should have been a better friend. I tried to tell to tell her it wasn't her fault, and it was mine, but she wouldn't listen. I looked around for Charlie only to find him in a chair, looking sorrowfully at the floor. I felt bad for him; all this was my fault only if he knew that I caused this, if I actually listened to Bella none of this would have happened. This made me realize what a selfish creature I am, only caring for myself, and well being. Whilst Bella was the complete opposite; she was so selfless caring for everyone else, but herself. The only people here were Alice, Charlie, Esme and me. The rest of my siblings don't know the truth of what happened, but I hope they find out soon.

The doctors came out after what seemed like days. They told us that she had lost a lot of blood and accepted the transfusions just fine. But they were unsure if she would be alright. They said that we could see her, one by one. Charlie went in first. When he came out he had red eyes and tear stains on his face. We decided that Alice should go in next; she was Bella's best friend. Alice came out sobbing after fifteen minutes; poor girl must be thinking it is her fault that she wasn't a better friend. I stood up and walked in the small room, her face looked so pale, and deathly. When I looked at her body I only could see how skinny she really was, only bones and skin. I started to feel guilty because this was my fault. I tried talking to her, asking for her for forgiveness, and pleading for her to wake up. But she wouldn't wake up. I could only pray for a miracle to happen so she would be okay. Slowly her eyes started to open, and she looked at me for a while before opening her mouth. Before she could speak, "I'm sorry; I should have listened to you."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

**A/N – so sorry I haven't updated since last year….I was busy with exams and piles of homework and projects. Hope you like it! sorry if i have grammar mistakes. **

**BPOV**

I don't know if I was dreaming or not. While in the forest I thought I heard Edward, and I felt his arms around me, but I don't know. I am dead right? I'm sure that I killed myself, so that way everyone can live in peace. But am I dead, I still feel the same, but a little irritated by a constant beeping noise. I tried tuning it out but it was to no avail. Slowly I opened my eyes; at first I couldn't see anything except this blinding light. Slowly when I was regaining my sight back, I realized I was in the hospital. Soon, my eyes locked with a pair of emerald eyes, I opened my mouth to ask who they were, but they started to talk before I could make words come out of my mouth.

"I'm sorry; I should have listened to you." The words ran out of his mouth in a smooth velvety voice, it took me a few second to register that is was Edward. Why is he here, he doesn't care about me so why would he be here, unless he read my letter earlier then I planned for him to find out. I started wondering why I am in the hospital if I was dying in the forest. Charlie was not supposed to find the note quickly hence the reason I left it in his room. But then again Charlie and Edward hate me, so why would they find me. I shouldn't have told Charlie where I was going to be, and I should have put the letter into Edwards's locker after he left school. I guess this is my entire fault, whatever; I'll just leave this town soon, as I am already eighteen but Charlie might not let me leave after this. Or he will just send me to Renee and Phil because I am a disappointment to him.

"Bella" I was pulled out of my internal rant by Edward. I was tempted to pretend that I have amnesia, and ask him who he was but I decided against it.

"Hmm?" I replied to him, not feeling like talking. I decided to look him in the eye; all I could see in them were concern.

"Why didn't you tell me? Try to reason with me." His voice started off soft but it started to get louder and rougher. "I would have listened to you. Why did you set up this stupid stunt, killing yourself, really Bella? I would have never thought you could have pulled a stunt as stupid as this. Do you know what I went through not knowing if you would be alright or not?" He stopped yelling at me once he met my eyes, his face soften. I am sure that my eyes were filled with tears from his previous words. "I'm sorry, I did not mean yell at you, I'm sorry I am just frustrated with what just happ…" I cut him off.

"What you went through. Do you even know what I went through? Of course you don't, because you weren't there. I went months without anyone helping me. Months in which I was hated upon, by you, your family, everyone even my own father. I was alone, and on top of that you just kept telling me I am worthless. And now you think you can waltz right in here and yell at me. And you say you are sorry." I said all of this in a low detached voice, it sounded a little scary.

When I looked at him he looked guilty, but I couldn't trust him, because he hurt me right? "Why are you even here? I wrote you that letter so you would know the truth of what happened that night. I don't want to be here, alive. So why in the world did you save me?" My voice dropped into a whisper as I questioned him.

"Bella, I realized that I was wrong, in many ways not only did I not listen to you but I didn't give you a chance to explain." In all honesty I thought that he was sincerely apologizing, but then again I don't know him anymore, even if he did safe me. "I am ready to do anything for your forgiveness."

Anything he says…

"When I read your letter, I realized that I did not give you a chance to explain. I want to apologize to you, ready to do anything for your forgiveness, so I headed to your house to make it up to you. When I rang the doorbell, Charlie answered the door, but he did not know where you were, so he was worried." I internally scoffed at that, Charlie wouldn't be worried about me. "Then he found the note you wrote him, and both of went out in the forest to find you. And we did, and then we brought you here. And to answer your question, I saved you because I never did stop loving you, even when we were apart I wanted us to be together."

"But you are with Tanya." I replied back.

"That's not the point, Bella. I would do anything for you; I want you to know that."

"No, you are supposed to be with Tanya, and have nothing to do with me. Both of you are good for each other, now if you don't mind will you leave me alone."

"But Bella…" He started to respond

"Get out Edward, just get out." He glanced back at me, and walked out of the room slowly. Finally I could think in peace again. The fact that Edward saved me still made no sense, he told me he hates me, and won't care for me anymore. Then why on earth did he come to find me, and confess his love for me. He did apologize, but I don't know if I can forgive him now or ever.

**I am really sorry I haven't updated recently, I was having trouble writing this chapter, so I kept rewriting it, trying to make it perfect. I really hope you liked it, and once again I apologize for not updating. I will really try to update more frequently. **


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